This is a story of how rapidly our lives can change when we make a Decision.
Making a decision can often be one of the toughest things for people to do. Why is this?
Because they have a fear around the unknown. Because stepping into the unknown in inevitably lead to something bad. I can tell you after 12 years of not only stepping, diving head first into the unknown, that MOST OFTEN, its quite opposite. MOST often it leads to some of the most beautiful destinations & profound discoveries that you've ever experienced. Where my risk-takers at?! Am I right?
So. Id like to tell you just a portion of my story with the intention of inspiring YOU to take action around something that you are deeply desiring to do in your life.
Around March of last year, 2017, I Decided that I was growing restless in my current 'dream' situation. For the past 3 years, I had been living on a retreat oasis nestled in the hill country of central Texas. I was surrounded by nature, with hummingbirds constantly on my tiny home cabin porch, mini donkeys in the back yard & miles upon miles of forest trails to frolic on. It was my heaven. My place that I had spent 3 years healing my heart after a rocket-launching career in the race horse industry & the deepest heartbreak I had ever experienced. Deep down, I knew that living there was only a chapter of my story. That it wasn't the end of my story. So, I wasn't too surprised when my soul came calling, tugging at my heartstrings to begin FEELING my way into my next chapter.
Making barely over minimum wage while living in the forest- I knew that this would all take some serious intentional creation on my part. What leverage I DID have in this job, was time. With summer camp approaching & my responsibilities as a retreat planner dwindling for about 3 months, I listened to my soul & began to plan what I knew would open me up to clarity around my next chapter- TRAVEL.
I remember the night I sat down with the May though August calendar & said to myself 'Alright soul, let's DO this'. That following week I let whatever opportunity that came my way to create travel, happen. I solidified the calendar & ended up with an impressive 16 weeks of exploring with trips to Guatemala for mission work, Costa Rica for jungle play, home to Indiana, New York to speak & teach meditation, and finally Alaska to backpack in the wilderness. Boy was I in for it. In the best way possible.
Something about travel breaks us open. It allows us to see life through a lens that the comforts of our home life wouldn't otherwise. We are exposed to varying degrees of ways human beings on this planet are living.Trip 1, Guatemala, was exactly that. I somehow weaseled my way into a University nursing student mission trip with my dear friend Megan. I had nothing in common with the group, and kind of proofed out of nowhere to them, this mala bead wearing free spirit teaching yoga on the roof of our mission house :) But that trip. Man oh man that trip. We spent 5 days serving village communities in Guatemala who were lucky to have something other than gnat-infested water buckets to wash themselves. A level of human living that I had only seen once before, in Cambodia. Seeing those people, those children, and the state of their being-ness allowed my to not only be massively present to FEEL all the things when you witness a tiny human struggling for food, but also to CHANGE on the inside. What the hell was I waiting for? Why was I waiting for permission to dive head-first into this next chapter? From this trip- I became clear on what I truly wanted. I wanted the freedom to be wherever I desired, doing the work that I knew made an impact on the world. I knew I wanted to live by my own rules and I knew I wanted to generate financial abundance to not only allow me to do so, but do contribute to humanity in a bigger way.
But HOW was I going to do that? Enter, Trip 2, Costa Rica. I had always been drawn to Costa Rica. Booking this trip was purely soul-guided. And in fact I almost ended up going alone! However, luckily- my magical friend Jen managed to swing the ten days off & TRUSTED me with her life as we rented a tiny 4x4 Kia, Jimmy, and galavanted across the Costa Rican countryside only staying in one place for a day or so. We surfed in the ocean, hiked through the cloud forests, zip lined the jungle, soaked in volcanic hot springs, got tattoos & connected with the most incredible people I've ever met. Costa Rica, from moment one, stole my heart. And quickly became my long term goal for settling. For creating my dream healing/adventure center that Ive dreamed of so many times. This trip is where the conviction stepped in. I became convicted to do whatever it was going to take to work on myself to create this next chapter. This is where I got the idea of buying a van & living in a van, like a vagabond, teaching meditation & offering my gifts to the world. All the #VanLife people make it look so easy & amazing, why couldn't I do it?!
Trip 3, brought me home to Indiana. Which was a recharge for my heart. Sitting with my mom. Smoking doobies with my dad. Laughing & dancing with my sisters and my nephew. Anything I could ever dream up, they would support. So when I told my mom I wanted to buy a van & fix it up so I could work & travel & be wherever I wanted, she immediately began to Pinterest van renovation ideas. My family supported this leap just like they have supported every leap Ive taken before. Of course the, 'But how will you make money?' Questions came up. And they were a little concerned that a girl with little to no mechanical work wanted to just up & buy a van & drive it across country. But with my desire to deep & my intentions to pure, they had the utmost faith in my ability to make this shit happen.
New York happened next. And it changed the game for me. After finishing my meditation teacher training, I knew that I wanted to use my gift of language to help move people to a deeper place within themselves. To the place were Self Love lives. I had never been to a public meditation let alone LED one. But, like most things I do, I adapted the mantra 'Fake it Till you Become it' & showed up at the New York event ready to freaking rock. Lisa, my creation goddess of a soul sister planned these events for the West New York community & trusted me to come in as a keynote speaker & meditation guide. Literally every-freaking-thing Ive been wanting to do since I started on this path oh so long ago. It fell in my lap . And it was beautiful. I showed up as Me. Human and raw as ever. Sharing a piece of my story of strength & then for 60 magical humans, I led a guided meditation in a bustle city park of West New York. The music matched perfectly with the message & with my words, I saw people breaking down into happy tears. Into releasing stress & into feeling their power. I was hooked. And THAT trip lit the fire that the conviction piece needed. I was affirmed & forward I marched.
Before I went to Alaska, my last summer trip, I bought the van. I bought a 94 Chevy G20 with Jesus stickers all over the interior. It only had 84k original miles and to me, that was a steal. I mean I REALLY leaped into that van situation. I ordered 'Mechanics for Dummies', had my dad FaceTime me on how to property check the oil & tires & was well on my way to being a van vagabond. Or so I thought.
Alaska was magic. In the summer months, you have over 19 hours of sunlight. I spent my time in the sunshine being grateful, present & really tuning into what my soul was telling me about the ticking time clock after returning from my summer travels. I knew I would have to DECIDE my timeline for officially starting this new chapter. So, the backpacking trip with my Alaskan queen bestie Taylor & her husband was about understanding my power as a creator. Understanding that every step I had taken led up to what was happening now. And that if I didn't want to fall on my ass creating this new chapter, I better start FEELING my power. I spent most of the hours in my tent feverously journaling & getting clear on what I really wanted. I saw wild salmon swimming upstream along an Alaskan mountainside, surfers catch the infamous 'Bore Tide' & more bear shit than what made me comfortable. But it was there that I became very clear on my role as a teacher & leader & Conscious Entrepreneur. And I knew deep down that I was going to have to be more bold than ever before.
My summer of pure magic led me to the chapter I am currently typing away from now. Sitting on a plane, about to go surprise visit my mom for Mother's Day. It is May and I am officially 2 weeks away from being FULLY self-employed. I managed to leave the retreat to work remotely, manifest an amazing relationship, travel all of this Spring teaching meditation & empowering women, AND I didnt even need the van. I sold the van last December & gently bowed out from what at first, was aligned. That's the thing about us creating powerfully. Sometimes we dive head first, we buy the freaking van, and then the Universe presents us with an even better option. Honestly, what in the HELL would I have done if a gasket blew in the middle of nowhere Utah?!
My summer of pure magic shifted things for me. And I 100% believe that ANYTHING you're desiring to do or create in your life can shift something for you. We are in a time of deep transformation. People are craving to live in their truth. To live life on their own terms. And I'm here to tell you: Fucking Do It.
DECIDE. Take that trip,start that business, buy that course, invest in yourself, believe relentlessly, show up authentically, listen to your heart,dream big, quiet your mind & let your SOUL show you the way.
And Ill be here cheering you on all along.